Haters Gonna Hate….Ramblings From a Sensitive Girl

25 Oct

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My daughters use to say ” Haters are Gonna Hate” now I know what they were talking about.

What is it about us women that we care so much what other people think? Were we taught this as little girls or is it in our DNA? I try to convince myself that it does not matter what others think. It doesn’t matter for awhile, but the old feeling slowly creeps back in.

I have not had any haters about my lovely writing skills except my 17 year old ( who apparently thinks I write like a 2nd grader ) :) Please forgive my grammar, spelling, and punctuation on my posts. I have dyslexia and am just thankful I can read and write. So no haters please.

Question 1:

Why would you put your life on display for everyone to see?

Answer:

I have nothing to hide. I have family and friend around the country and it is easer to have all my information in one place.

A lot of women that have either had this surgery or are getting ready to have the surgery read this blog. Just as I read blogs when I was getting ready to have surgery and before when I was just researching the possibility. I did not even know you could have this type of reconstruction and If I did not know being a nurse and all I knew other women did not know either. Since I read so many blogs that helped me I want to pay it forward.

I write for my girls to have a journal of sort of my experience, thoughts, and feelings.. So one day they will know everything was for them so I would hopefully live a long life and not get Breast Cancer. I would have loved to have my mothers thoughts, feelings, during the difficult times in her life written down.

Question 2:

Who do you blame for your infection?

Answer:

No one!!!!! I do not know if this is only a  Texas saying or not, but ” Shit Happens.” My doctor has been nothing but great, He went above and beyond helping me heal and I am eternally grateful. I believe God has a reason for all thing in our life. Lessons to learn, teaching patience to the inpatient, telling me to slow down and I do not have to do everything all myself, but mostly give up control put your faith in him and in the doctor’s hand. He knows I struggle with both patience and control and I am pretty bullheaded at times and need to be reminded I am not always in control of everything. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Question 3:

Why would you show your scars to the world?

Answer:

Other women do not need to see the perfect surgery or outcome. They need to see what is real. Hopefully they get the perfect experience, but if they don’t then they will know they are not alone. When we were adopting the girls we went to classes and they told us worse case scenarios about a child you might get from Foster Care. I now believe they did this so anything better than the worst case your could handle and think this is nothing. It could be this bad instead. I approached my Mastectomy and reconstruction the same way I wanted worst case scenarios so if anything did happen ( like an infection ) it was not a big deal and could be worse.

I believe scars are the roadmap of my life. Each scar on my body tells a different story . The story of my life, and it has been a great ride so far.

If someone does not want to read this blog do not click on the link. It was probably not written for you anyway. But for anyone else come on in ask all the question you want, My life is an open book.

hate

6 Responses to “Haters Gonna Hate….Ramblings From a Sensitive Girl”

  1. Nadine Schulz October 26, 2013 at 7:31 am #

    Well stated my friend. I’m proud of you.

  2. Brian Torman October 26, 2013 at 12:08 pm #

    I am so proud of you. You have been very transparent in order for other women to benefit. That is a wonderful gift and if others don’t see that, then it’s their loss. Love you.

  3. sarahpsydney October 28, 2013 at 10:57 pm #

    Hi Just wanted to send you love and strength from me here in Australia.I don’t know you personally but I see you are following my blog and now I now why – you had a preventative bilateral mastectomy like me just a week after me this year. It is such a hard road isn’t it? But yes, it is worth it. WAY better than dealing with breast cancer. You have been so brave and matter of fact about your experiences, along with a good dose of humour! I agree with you, no one is forcing anyone to read your blog, but those who find it for the right reasons will learn from your journey (Lesson One: expect the unexpected! Lesson Two: All will be well!) I wish you continuing strength and good healing – you have had an amazing surgery recovery from just a few weeks ago. I am one of those people who hates seeing scars, but I can glimpse your photos and see how far you have come too. Well done. That takes courage – and so lovely of you to share your ongoing healing. Sarah

    • ktorman67 October 28, 2013 at 11:01 pm #

      Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean the world to me. Hopefully you are feeling well. I have not gotten to read your entire blog but I will. It is so good to know we are not alone in this journey.

      • sarahpsydney October 28, 2013 at 11:08 pm #

        So true. Makes all the difference, especially when you are lying there post surgery, if you know other women have gone through it and STILL say they are glad they have had it done in the end! Love to you from Sydney. Sarah

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