Baby Ellen I gave you life now you save mine.

2 Apr


I have a confession to make. I have never told a soul, not even my husband or daughters, but now I am sharing it with you. I gave my 1 day old baby a job and that job was to save my life.  Let me explain; since I knew of my high risk for breast cancer, my OBGYN told me that breastfeeding for 6 months reduces ones risk of breast cancer. If a woman breast fed longer,  it did not lower the risk.  6 months, in my book, was the magic number.

I had my first daughter in 1995 and my plan was to breast feed for as long as possible, not only for her health, but for mine to lower my BC risk.  I had imagined my child would just come out knowing how to feed and we would have a wonderful breast-feeding relationship. Ellen, my daughter, must not have gotten the memo that breasts were for eating not for falling asleep on. We tried and tried to get the breast-feeding going.

I remember crying in the dark holding her telling her she must nurse or I will die.  “Please save my life. You MUST eat or I will die!”  I know now it sounds illogical but I was a postpartum mom with crazy hormones. My mother saw what stress I was under to get her to eat and she wanted me to give her a bottle of formula. I was adamant that she nurse at least 6 months, not that there is anything wrong with formula.  In my mind, she had to save me.  She finally got the hang of it and breast-fed for 9 months.

The other day I was reading a new study, that for every year of breastfeeding a women’s risk is lowered by 4.3%.   My daughter should be thanking the good Lord that I did not have this information back then or she would still be breastfeeding to this day. I know I am totally grossing her out as it is:)


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