Put On Your Big Girl Panties And Deal With It.

20 Jul

big girl panties

I scheduled my surgery for September 4th. I was fine with my decision up until I got the call from the Dr. office with the confirmation date. Since that time I have had these bouts of anger and a why me pity party.

I am MAD…..

I am mad at my parents for passing a defective gene down to me.

I am mad I even got checked for the stupid gene. ( I know irrational thought)

I am mad now my girls have to worry and get checked one day.

I am mad that I have dense breasts and a mammogram can not see a lump on the scan because it looks like trying to find a polar bear in a snowstorm

I am mad I can’t have a MRI for extra surveillance due to screws I have in my body.

I am mad the only thing I can proactively do is take a drug Tamoxifen for 10 years and that drug put you into menopause.

I am mad I must have surgery.

I am mad I have to be a burden on my husband and kids while I recover.

I am GLAD…..

I am glad I do not have Breast Cancer.



6 Responses to “Put On Your Big Girl Panties And Deal With It.”

  1. Goodgollymzmollie July 22, 2013 at 3:48 pm #

    I carry BRCA1 mutation and underwent a prophylactic double mastectomy with immediate DIEP reconstruction in January. I know what you’re going through, so if you ever want to connect, I’m here. If you want to know more about me I wrote about my journey: http://tatatothetatas.blogspot.com/

    • ktorman67 July 22, 2013 at 11:23 pm #

      Thank you so much for letting me read your blog. It helped so much. There were many times I had tears in my eyes because you had some of the same feelings that I have and I realized I am not alone.


  2. Goodgollymzmollie July 23, 2013 at 8:16 am #

    I’m glad you enjoyed it and hope that it really did help. I am serious about ever needing to talk to anyone. I felt so alone so much and would have loved to talk to someone that recently went through it. You’ve got my email, too, so we don’t have to “chat” on public comments either 🙂

    • ktorman67 July 23, 2013 at 6:22 pm #

      Oh great I did not see your email but now I do

  3. goodgollymsmollie September 5, 2013 at 6:42 pm #

    Just checking in with you. Hope all went well! 🙂

    • ktorman67 September 6, 2013 at 1:41 pm #

      Thanks for checking on me. I sent you a couple of questions in your private email.


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