Archive | October, 2013

Personal Space Please…

29 Oct


Since I have been talking so much about my abdominal wound lately I will lighten the mood and tell you a humorous/ disturbing story that happened to me a few weeks ago.

I had a doctor appt with a doctor not associated with my Mastectomy or reconstruction. It was for something entirely different. Well, this doctor knew about my surgery prior to having it done. I was in his office, and I had my wound VAC on.

We started talking about every thing that was going on and how the surgery went. Just a little side note I had accidentally left home without my bra on and went to my appointment. Yes I can do that now ( jealous?) ūüôā

After we finished talking about the surgery the doctor walked over to me. I thought the he was coming over to listen to my heart and lungs but instead the perv. open the collar of my t-shirt and looked down my shirt and said “nice.” I did not know if I should be complimented or offended. When I told my husband about it he was defiantly offended.

Why does crazy crap always happen to me? Moral of the story is always wear a bra to your doctor appointment. ūüôā


Haters Gonna Hate….Ramblings From a Sensitive Girl

25 Oct


My daughters use to say ” Haters are Gonna Hate” now I know what they were talking about.

What is it about us women that we care so much what other people think? Were we taught this as little girls or is it in our DNA? I try to convince myself that it does not matter what others think. It doesn’t matter for awhile, but the old feeling slowly creeps back in.

I have not had any haters about my lovely writing skills except my 17 year old ( who apparently thinks I write like a 2nd grader ) ūüôā Please forgive my grammar, spelling, and punctuation on my posts. I have dyslexia and am just thankful I can read and write. So no haters please.

Question 1:

Why would you put your life on display for everyone to see?


I have nothing to hide. I have family and friend around the country and it is easer to have all my information in one place.

A lot of women that have either had this surgery or are getting ready to have the surgery read this blog. Just as I read blogs when I was getting ready to have surgery and before when I was just researching the possibility. I did not even know you could have this type of reconstruction and If I did not know being a nurse and all I knew other women did not know either. Since I read so many blogs that helped me I want to pay it forward.

I write for my girls to have a journal of sort of my experience, thoughts, and feelings.. So one day they will know everything was for them so I would hopefully live a long life and not get Breast Cancer. I would have loved to have my mothers thoughts, feelings, during the difficult times in her life written down.

Question 2:

Who do you blame for your infection?


No one!!!!! I do not know if this is only a¬† Texas saying or not, but ” Shit Happens.” My doctor has been nothing but great, He went above and beyond helping me heal and I am eternally grateful. I believe God has a reason for all thing in our life. Lessons to learn, teaching patience to the inpatient, telling me to slow down and I do not have to do everything all myself, but mostly give up control put your faith in him and in the doctor’s hand. He knows I struggle with both patience and control and I am pretty bullheaded at times and need to be reminded I am not always in control of everything. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Question 3:

Why would you show your scars to the world?


Other women do not need to see the perfect surgery or outcome. They need to see what is real. Hopefully they get the perfect experience, but if they don’t then they will know they are not alone. When we were adopting the girls we went to classes and they told us worse case scenarios about a child you might get from Foster Care. I now believe they did this so anything better than the worst case your could handle and think this is nothing. It could be this bad instead. I approached my Mastectomy and reconstruction the same way I wanted worst case scenarios so if anything did happen ( like an infection ) it was not a big deal and could be worse.

I believe scars are the roadmap of my life. Each scar on my body tells a different story . The story of my life, and it has been a great ride so far.

If someone does not want to read this blog do not click on the link. It was probably not written for you anyway. But for anyone else come on in ask all the question you want, My life is an open book.


All The Kings Horses And All The Kings Men Plus A Doctor Put Me Back Together Again.

24 Oct

Humpty Dumpty Sat on a wall

Here is what my abdominal donor site looks like after the bandage came off. I think the doctor did a good job. Hopefully it will heal and not split open ouch. I still have to walk hunched over like a old lady. I think he said next summer he will do a scar revision to bring down the scar. I was in versed land but he said something about a scar revision later in the year. I am happy it is closed and I got rid of that Wound VAC.


Great Day… Embarrassing Day

23 Oct


Good news!!! I am totally stitched up!!! I still have the wound VAC for a few days and a Drain placed for a week.

I started this blog to update friends and family, Then I made it public for other women going through the ups and downs of mastectomy and reconstruction choices like me. Not all surgery is a bed of roses but you do your best and move on.

Embarrassing moment of the day. Before I was going back to surgery my Dr. said something like how is the blog going? I never told him about my blog. How the hell did he know about it? I was so embarrassed. Because there was a post at the very beginning of my blog about our first meeting in his office. Remember the fat pinching post and the sedation post just the other day? So embarrassing I wished the floor would just come swallow me up right then ugggh.

My doctor has been great!!!!
I just want to go on the record Dr.  is my hero not only did he save my flap in the beginning and worked so hard those extra hours to make sure it worked. He also worked so hard healing my infection. I will forever be grateful.

Will show you my beautiful incision in a few days. Maybe I can go back to that stripper job also. ( JOKE)

Whooah, we’re half way there Livin on a prayer…. WARNING Guts

21 Oct

On Friday my abdominal would was stitched up half way. It went from this:


To this: It looks so much better in person ūüôā

guts 4  Look at the good job he did on my stitches

Wednesday is the big day to close the thing. Yea!!!!!!


21 Oct

shut up 

( Disclaimer everything in this post my wonderful husband knows, rolls his eyes at,  and still loves me!!!)

This last few weeks I have been to the operating room under “conscience”¬†sedation.¬†This is where you are not¬†under general anesthesia just given medication to relax and kind of out of it. I have been through this ¬†4 times¬† already with ¬†tomorrow making the 5th so you would think ¬†I am getting pretty good at this¬†right? Well me and sedation do not go to well together, let me explain sedation is like being the only drunk one in a¬† room full of sober people.¬†You wonder what you said¬†the next morning in my case in a few hours after it wears off.¬†I have no filter on my mouth, I think it and say¬† it end of story.

I will give an example. About 7 years ago I had to have a procedure under sedation. There was a medical rep in the room¬†named¬†Jeff he was there¬†for a certain piece of equipment during the procedure. He was very good looking to say the least. I was given the sedation and what I thought in my head came right out my mouth.¬† I said ”¬† Is that¬† guy Jeff in here? He is gorgeous. That guy is HOT.”¬†Needless to say the whole operating room busted out laughing and I remember thinking did I just day that out loud? My doctor¬†said “yes he is standing right beside you.” I had to see him after my procedure to show me¬† how to work this piece of equipment I was going home with.¬†I could have died!!!!!!

Back to my present procedures last week I was a bit nervous to be under sedation again and not fully asleep.¬† I told my doctor I am not responsible for anything I say while under. He laughed and said ok. Well I did happen to tell my doctor¬†( plastic surgeon) while under sedation ” Be sure and make the scar look good so I can go back to nighttime stripper job. I don’t need¬†it ruining my tips, ¬†the economy and all” OMG¬†who knows what else I told him. For those that don’t know me I am¬†46 years old with 4 kids I am NOT a stripper nor have I ever¬†been

I Have The Best Coworkers

12 Oct

One of my¬†friends from work¬†just brought me over a gift basket from all by Coworkers. I has all my favorite things in it. I have books and magazines to read at the hospital next week. My favorite drink Dr. Pepper and of course CHOCOLATE!!!!¬† I love everything but mostly I love you guys and are blessed to have you as my friends. I can’t wait to see you soon. Thank you
for thinking of me.

gift gift 2

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