Tag Archives: Breast

Haters Gonna Hate….Ramblings From a Sensitive Girl

25 Oct


My daughters use to say ” Haters are Gonna Hate” now I know what they were talking about.

What is it about us women that we care so much what other people think? Were we taught this as little girls or is it in our DNA? I try to convince myself that it does not matter what others think. It doesn’t matter for awhile, but the old feeling slowly creeps back in.

I have not had any haters about my lovely writing skills except my 17 year old ( who apparently thinks I write like a 2nd grader ) ūüôā Please forgive my grammar, spelling, and punctuation on my posts. I have dyslexia and am just thankful I can read and write. So no haters please.

Question 1:

Why would you put your life on display for everyone to see?


I have nothing to hide. I have family and friend around the country and it is easer to have all my information in one place.

A lot of women that have either had this surgery or are getting ready to have the surgery read this blog. Just as I read blogs when I was getting ready to have surgery and before when I was just researching the possibility. I did not even know you could have this type of reconstruction and If I did not know being a nurse and all I knew other women did not know either. Since I read so many blogs that helped me I want to pay it forward.

I write for my girls to have a journal of sort of my experience, thoughts, and feelings.. So one day they will know everything was for them so I would hopefully live a long life and not get Breast Cancer. I would have loved to have my mothers thoughts, feelings, during the difficult times in her life written down.

Question 2:

Who do you blame for your infection?


No one!!!!! I do not know if this is only a¬† Texas saying or not, but ” Shit Happens.” My doctor has been nothing but great, He went above and beyond helping me heal and I am eternally grateful. I believe God has a reason for all thing in our life. Lessons to learn, teaching patience to the inpatient, telling me to slow down and I do not have to do everything all myself, but mostly give up control put your faith in him and in the doctor’s hand. He knows I struggle with both patience and control and I am pretty bullheaded at times and need to be reminded I am not always in control of everything. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Question 3:

Why would you show your scars to the world?


Other women do not need to see the perfect surgery or outcome. They need to see what is real. Hopefully they get the perfect experience, but if they don’t then they will know they are not alone. When we were adopting the girls we went to classes and they told us worse case scenarios about a child you might get from Foster Care. I now believe they did this so anything better than the worst case your could handle and think this is nothing. It could be this bad instead. I approached my Mastectomy and reconstruction the same way I wanted worst case scenarios so if anything did happen ( like an infection ) it was not a big deal and could be worse.

I believe scars are the roadmap of my life. Each scar on my body tells a different story . The story of my life, and it has been a great ride so far.

If someone does not want to read this blog do not click on the link. It was probably not written for you anyway. But for anyone else come on in ask all the question you want, My life is an open book.



To Share Or Not To Share That Is The Question???

18 May


The other morning my husband woke me up to the news Angelina Jolie had a preventive mastectomy and how great it is that she is speaking out and helping others understand this difficult decision regarding genetics and cancer risks. As I went¬†through my day, I read multiple articles about her decision. I was stunned regarding some of the comments that were made by people and I got to thinking maybe I should not share with my family and friends what I am going through since there was so much negative energy out there regarding this topic.( I have decided to have my surgery once¬†the girls have gone back to school at the end of the summer.)¬† Here are some of the responses I have read regarding Angelina’s choice…..

“I’m a little confused here.¬† She had a gene that said it was possible.¬† She is intelligent enough to take care of herself to do everything in her power to not activate that gene.¬† It’s her choice, of course, and it is respectable.¬† But, Do we want to applaud and encourage such an extreme “preventative” action?¬† Isn’t this even more extreme than getting lap band before you become morbidly obese? Please tell me mister how exactly do you “activate” a gene? If that was known, cancer would be cured.

“So because she has a certain gene that haven’t been proven to be the definitive marker for breastfeeding cancer. She ops for mutilation to prevent the “Possibility” of cancer. So We all just need to start removing body parts that are highly prone to cancer to prevent the possibility of disease. Yea… Makes sense to me. I’m going to go have my testicles removed because someone in my family has a had testicular cancer. And even tho I don’t have it. Chopping my balls off will prevent that…… Because we all know. Cancer is only centrally located directly in certain body parts and can not metastasize anywhere else……. (sarcasm).”

“Are you serious?? Self mutilation over a presumed risk that could be avoided all together. Say NO to preservatives, Say NO to chemicals in food, hygiene and cleaning products and Say NO to the SAD (Standard American Diet) and live in FREEDOM not Fear!” I am sure plenty of people that have eaten right and said no to the Standard American Diet¬†still¬†have gotten¬†cancer.

These last 2 comments were copied from a fellow bloggers blog where she was talking about the same topic.( The Pink Underbelly blog)

“She wanted a boob job so this is a convenient way of getting one.‚Ä̬†Yes, because a woman whose net worth is estimated to be $120 million can‚Äôt afford breast augmentation.

Nobody makes the choice to remove their breasts preventively¬† without much research, speaking with the medical professionals, faith, and family support. I told Brian¬†¬†“I might not ever get cancer but if I got it and never did anything to prevent it with the knowledge I have regarding¬†my family history and genetic testing,¬†I would be kicking myself every day for not removing my breasts when I had the chance.”¬†¬†To me, my¬†breasts¬†are simply¬†not as important to me as piece of mind.


I Am Greater Than The Sum Of All My Parts: Who Is The True Me?

10 May

who am i

¬†The other day I was telling a friend about my future¬†journey and she said to me” You are so brave ¬†I would never feel whole if I had my breast removed. I just want to keep what God has given me” I pondered on this statement for awhile and started thinking¬† who am¬†I? I¬†mean the real me, my¬†soul, spirit, and my¬†true essence.

I am kind, loving, and loyal

I am caring, and giving

I am funny

I am independent and driven

I am fun to be around

I am a lover of 80’s music, warm weather, beaches, and driving with the music in the car blaring

I am a mom and a wife

I am totally in love with my husband and daughters.

I am not patient ( wish I was)

I am a child of God and a lover of Jesus

I am passionate about being a pediatric nurse

I am an introvert ( wish I wasn’t)

I am greater than the sum of  all my parts. I am not my breasts.

Stuffing Out Stuffing In: My Appointment With The Breast Surgeon

25 Apr

nipple sparing

I had my appointment with the breast surgeon this morning.  Brian and I really liked him, he was direct, kind, and answered all our questions. We discussed my options about types of mastectomies and he said I would be a great candidate for a skin sparing and nipple sparing mastectomy, that means I would get to keep all my outer parts. Skin and nipples and the inner parts, meaning breast tissue, would be removed and replaced with my belly fat (can I hear a hallelujah?).

He told us that the mastectomy would not be the painful part and¬†that the reconstruction scar would cause the most pain. His part would only feel like a “bad bruise“.¬† WOAH back the horse up a minute doc, you’re telling me that getting your breast literally chopped off and¬†¬†stuffed feels like a ” bad bruise?”¬† Do I look like I was born yesterday?¬† I wanted to say “oh yes ¬†the¬† same way my mother in law told me labor¬†felt like ¬†having bad menstrual cramps, ¬†uh-huh right.” (wink wink)

He explained usually everything goes perfect, but occasionally the nipple’s blood supply can become compromised and it turns black and dies. This is¬†what we label n medicine as necrosis. Nice, having a black, dead nipple does not sound to¬†appealing ¬†to me, so hopefully everything goes perfect. He explained if this happens, I¬† will lose my nipple and they have to make me one.

He also explained that I could bring my breast cancer  lifetime risk from 50-70%. (Which is what I am now) to  1%, but not to 0% since they can not get every speck of breast tissue.  Doggone it, if I get breast cancer and go through all this, I will be really pissed. However, he said it would be on the surface of the breast and we could feel it and catch it early.

The best thing I got out of the meeting was reassurance that¬†I was doing the right thing. The doctor stated the majority of his patients are preventive mastectomy patients. I stated “So I’m not the only crazy one?” He said I was doing the right thing and if his wife had my family history and risk factors, he would want her to do the same thing. If it is good enough for his wife, then¬†it is¬†definitely¬†good enough for me.

Are You Dense? Why Yes,Yes I Am: The Most Important Blog Post I Will Ever Write

18 Apr


I confess, I am dense. I just found out that I am dense last year. My density came to me in a letter no less. I am not talking about my smarts, but rather I am talking about my breast density. My last mammogram report stated I have dense breast tissue. Below is a picture of the USA, if you live in the pink states, a law is in effect to tell you your breast density when you have a mammogram.


The law in Texas is called Henda’s Law. Henda‚Äôs Law ‚Äď named for Henda Salmeron, a Dallas Realtor and breast cancer survivor who led efforts to pass the legislation ‚Äď requires mammography providers to notify patients with dense breast tissue that their mammogram may be less accurate than that of women with lower breast density. The law states: ‚ÄúIf your mammogram demonstrates that you have dense breast tissue, which could hide abnormalities, and you have other risk factors for breast cancer that have been identified, you might benefit from supplemental screening tests that may be suggested by your ordering physician.‚ÄĚ

Breast Density is a measure of the amount of breast tissue a woman has. The more tissue, the greater the density and the higher the risk of breast cancer. However, in women with dense breast tissue, mammograms are not as effective in detecting the cancer. This is because both breast tissue and breast cancer will appear white on a mammogram and the lack of contrast makes identification of the cancer more difficult.

The mammogram picture below shows someone with dense breast that has a tumor. It has been circled in pink. See how difficult it is to see.

dense breast

Here is a mammogram of a tumor in a regular breast and a dense breast.

dense breast 2

What to do if you have dense breasts?

Ask your doctor about having additional screening studies such as an ultrasound or breast MRI. For more information visit http://areyoudense.org.

Can I have some of your fat? The line starts at the left‚Ķ

23 Mar


I went to the plastic surgeon the other day to see what my options were regarding reconstruction after my Preventive Mastectomy. I have to tell you how I met Dr. M, the plastic surgeon first. I pick up shifts at an urgent care center in Southlake. Once I was there, I heard one of the Doctors talking about her husband being a plastic surgeon and how he specializes in Breast reconstruction. God just puts you in the right place at the right time, huh? I got his number and went to see him and I loved him right away.

Ladies, did you know they can make boobs out of fat from your stomach area, butt, and thighs? So not only do you get new boobs, you either get a tummy tuck, butt lift, or thinner thighs, and insurance covers it all. I call that a win-win situation. All I have to say to that is SCORE. (Remember: I am thinking glass half full)

Back to the appointment with the plastic surgeon, he explained in great detail all my options from using my own fat-tissue to implants. There are so many ways to make boobies. I was overwhelmed by it all. He then asked me to undress from the top up, nothing like some man examining your breast while your husband sits on the couch across the room and stares daggers at him. That was too weird for me. Anyway, after he touched, measured, and prodded he decided to play let‚Äôs check the fat game. He pinched my fat on my tummy and stated, ‚ÄúWe need to do a CAT scan to check the vessels and the fat on your abdomen to see if there is enough.‚ÄĚ Really, Mr. plastic surgeon? You really need a CT to check my fat? I can pinch it up for you. There is enough to make some honking breast if you ask me.

Well off to the hospital in April to check my fat with a CT, kind of overkill in my book, but oh well. I am not the doctor, what do I know? I did not even know how they made boobs in the first place.

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