Tag Archives: God

Will It Be Easy? (Nope) Will It Be Worth It (Absolutely)… National Adoption Month… Our Adoption Story

11 Nov

adoptionI wanted to write some thoughts about adoption since it is National Adoption Month.  Adoption, especially from foster care, is a passion of mine.  Let me tell your our story.  My husband and I never had any trouble having our own biological children and had always talked about the possibility of adopting more children,  That is all it amounted to was talking and not really any action. Then one fateful day we met our friends and our lives changed forever. They had 3 biological children and adopted a sibling group of 3 older children from Foster Care.  We really did not want to be foster parents, but wanted to go straight adoption and the Gladney Center For Adoption had a program where the parental rights to the kids had already been removed and they were ready to be adopted.

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We wanted to do what our friends had done; adopt kids within the state of Texas.  We felt with so many children right in our own back yard wanting a forever home that we couldn’t ignore that.  We worked with our agency, took the classes, got our home inspection, and began the wait. And what a wait it was.  I am not the most patient person. The time we waited  until we got matched was 9 months from the time our home study was complete. I began to question God. Why was it taking so long? What was the hold up?  Maybe God needed my help :). Brian told me to be patient and wait ( yeah, right, How long have you lived with me?)

 

adoption 4The call finally came that we had been waiting for.  There was a girl who was 5 that we had been matched with.  They sent us her case file  and I  started to go through all the information.  After I had read through it all, I  pulled Brian into our room and said that this didn’t feel right.  I felt that this child was not the one for us.  I was heartbroken and was fearful that if we said no, that we would never be matched with another child   Brian said if God is saying no, then we have to listen and let her go to the home He has prepared for her.  We told the agency that we needed to pass on this child.

Again, this was very painful for me as we had waited for a long time.  A few weeks went by and another call came.  This time, it was a sibling set of two girls.  Again we went through the file and I could tell on these were the ones God has set aside to be a part of our family.  We let the agency know we wanted them and began the process.  One was age 7 and the other age 5.  They came to live with us permanently on December 26, 2009 and we finalized their adoption in August of 2010.  We can’t imagine our lives without them.   Now I can see clearly why God kept us waiting so long. They were meant to be ours and they were not ready to be adopted at the time I was so impatiently waiting  and questioning God on his intentions.  Looking back, I would have waited 10 years for them The girls have been such a blessed addition to our family.  In our eyes, there is no difference between our natural and adopted daughters; they are each a gift from God. To say I love them is an understatement. Each one of my daughters is seared into my soul and I will never be the same.

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If you ever get the inkling to adopt, it will be the best decision of your life.  Do not let the feeling pass by. All children need someone to call Mommy and Daddy. You will be the one receiveing the true blessing.

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Haters Gonna Hate….Ramblings From a Sensitive Girl

25 Oct

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My daughters use to say ” Haters are Gonna Hate” now I know what they were talking about.

What is it about us women that we care so much what other people think? Were we taught this as little girls or is it in our DNA? I try to convince myself that it does not matter what others think. It doesn’t matter for awhile, but the old feeling slowly creeps back in.

I have not had any haters about my lovely writing skills except my 17 year old ( who apparently thinks I write like a 2nd grader ) 🙂 Please forgive my grammar, spelling, and punctuation on my posts. I have dyslexia and am just thankful I can read and write. So no haters please.

Question 1:

Why would you put your life on display for everyone to see?

Answer:

I have nothing to hide. I have family and friend around the country and it is easer to have all my information in one place.

A lot of women that have either had this surgery or are getting ready to have the surgery read this blog. Just as I read blogs when I was getting ready to have surgery and before when I was just researching the possibility. I did not even know you could have this type of reconstruction and If I did not know being a nurse and all I knew other women did not know either. Since I read so many blogs that helped me I want to pay it forward.

I write for my girls to have a journal of sort of my experience, thoughts, and feelings.. So one day they will know everything was for them so I would hopefully live a long life and not get Breast Cancer. I would have loved to have my mothers thoughts, feelings, during the difficult times in her life written down.

Question 2:

Who do you blame for your infection?

Answer:

No one!!!!! I do not know if this is only a  Texas saying or not, but ” Shit Happens.” My doctor has been nothing but great, He went above and beyond helping me heal and I am eternally grateful. I believe God has a reason for all thing in our life. Lessons to learn, teaching patience to the inpatient, telling me to slow down and I do not have to do everything all myself, but mostly give up control put your faith in him and in the doctor’s hand. He knows I struggle with both patience and control and I am pretty bullheaded at times and need to be reminded I am not always in control of everything. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Question 3:

Why would you show your scars to the world?

Answer:

Other women do not need to see the perfect surgery or outcome. They need to see what is real. Hopefully they get the perfect experience, but if they don’t then they will know they are not alone. When we were adopting the girls we went to classes and they told us worse case scenarios about a child you might get from Foster Care. I now believe they did this so anything better than the worst case your could handle and think this is nothing. It could be this bad instead. I approached my Mastectomy and reconstruction the same way I wanted worst case scenarios so if anything did happen ( like an infection ) it was not a big deal and could be worse.

I believe scars are the roadmap of my life. Each scar on my body tells a different story . The story of my life, and it has been a great ride so far.

If someone does not want to read this blog do not click on the link. It was probably not written for you anyway. But for anyone else come on in ask all the question you want, My life is an open book.

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I Am Greater Than The Sum Of All My Parts: Who Is The True Me?

10 May

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 The other day I was telling a friend about my future journey and she said to me” You are so brave  I would never feel whole if I had my breast removed. I just want to keep what God has given me” I pondered on this statement for awhile and started thinking  who am I? I mean the real me, my soul, spirit, and my true essence.

I am kind, loving, and loyal

I am caring, and giving

I am funny

I am independent and driven

I am fun to be around

I am a lover of 80’s music, warm weather, beaches, and driving with the music in the car blaring

I am a mom and a wife

I am totally in love with my husband and daughters.

I am not patient ( wish I was)

I am a child of God and a lover of Jesus

I am passionate about being a pediatric nurse

I am an introvert ( wish I wasn’t)

I am greater than the sum of  all my parts. I am not my breasts.

Can I have some of your fat? The line starts at the left…

23 Mar

fat

I went to the plastic surgeon the other day to see what my options were regarding reconstruction after my Preventive Mastectomy. I have to tell you how I met Dr. M, the plastic surgeon first. I pick up shifts at an urgent care center in Southlake. Once I was there, I heard one of the Doctors talking about her husband being a plastic surgeon and how he specializes in Breast reconstruction. God just puts you in the right place at the right time, huh? I got his number and went to see him and I loved him right away.

Ladies, did you know they can make boobs out of fat from your stomach area, butt, and thighs? So not only do you get new boobs, you either get a tummy tuck, butt lift, or thinner thighs, and insurance covers it all. I call that a win-win situation. All I have to say to that is SCORE. (Remember: I am thinking glass half full)

Back to the appointment with the plastic surgeon, he explained in great detail all my options from using my own fat-tissue to implants. There are so many ways to make boobies. I was overwhelmed by it all. He then asked me to undress from the top up, nothing like some man examining your breast while your husband sits on the couch across the room and stares daggers at him. That was too weird for me. Anyway, after he touched, measured, and prodded he decided to play let’s check the fat game. He pinched my fat on my tummy and stated, “We need to do a CAT scan to check the vessels and the fat on your abdomen to see if there is enough.” Really, Mr. plastic surgeon? You really need a CT to check my fat? I can pinch it up for you. There is enough to make some honking breast if you ask me.

Well off to the hospital in April to check my fat with a CT, kind of overkill in my book, but oh well. I am not the doctor, what do I know? I did not even know how they made boobs in the first place.

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