Tag Archives: Texas

Will It Be Easy? (Nope) Will It Be Worth It (Absolutely)… National Adoption Month… Our Adoption Story

11 Nov

adoptionI wanted to write some thoughts about adoption since it is National Adoption Month.  Adoption, especially from foster care, is a passion of mine.  Let me tell your our story.  My husband and I never had any trouble having our own biological children and had always talked about the possibility of adopting more children,  That is all it amounted to was talking and not really any action. Then one fateful day we met our friends and our lives changed forever. They had 3 biological children and adopted a sibling group of 3 older children from Foster Care.  We really did not want to be foster parents, but wanted to go straight adoption and the Gladney Center For Adoption had a program where the parental rights to the kids had already been removed and they were ready to be adopted.

adoption 3

We wanted to do what our friends had done; adopt kids within the state of Texas.  We felt with so many children right in our own back yard wanting a forever home that we couldn’t ignore that.  We worked with our agency, took the classes, got our home inspection, and began the wait. And what a wait it was.  I am not the most patient person. The time we waited  until we got matched was 9 months from the time our home study was complete. I began to question God. Why was it taking so long? What was the hold up?  Maybe God needed my help :). Brian told me to be patient and wait ( yeah, right, How long have you lived with me?)

 

adoption 4The call finally came that we had been waiting for.  There was a girl who was 5 that we had been matched with.  They sent us her case file  and I  started to go through all the information.  After I had read through it all, I  pulled Brian into our room and said that this didn’t feel right.  I felt that this child was not the one for us.  I was heartbroken and was fearful that if we said no, that we would never be matched with another child   Brian said if God is saying no, then we have to listen and let her go to the home He has prepared for her.  We told the agency that we needed to pass on this child.

Again, this was very painful for me as we had waited for a long time.  A few weeks went by and another call came.  This time, it was a sibling set of two girls.  Again we went through the file and I could tell on these were the ones God has set aside to be a part of our family.  We let the agency know we wanted them and began the process.  One was age 7 and the other age 5.  They came to live with us permanently on December 26, 2009 and we finalized their adoption in August of 2010.  We can’t imagine our lives without them.   Now I can see clearly why God kept us waiting so long. They were meant to be ours and they were not ready to be adopted at the time I was so impatiently waiting  and questioning God on his intentions.  Looking back, I would have waited 10 years for them The girls have been such a blessed addition to our family.  In our eyes, there is no difference between our natural and adopted daughters; they are each a gift from God. To say I love them is an understatement. Each one of my daughters is seared into my soul and I will never be the same.

adoption 2

If you ever get the inkling to adopt, it will be the best decision of your life.  Do not let the feeling pass by. All children need someone to call Mommy and Daddy. You will be the one receiveing the true blessing.

adoption 6

Advertisements

Haters Gonna Hate….Ramblings From a Sensitive Girl

25 Oct

20131025-092951.jpg

My daughters use to say ” Haters are Gonna Hate” now I know what they were talking about.

What is it about us women that we care so much what other people think? Were we taught this as little girls or is it in our DNA? I try to convince myself that it does not matter what others think. It doesn’t matter for awhile, but the old feeling slowly creeps back in.

I have not had any haters about my lovely writing skills except my 17 year old ( who apparently thinks I write like a 2nd grader ) 🙂 Please forgive my grammar, spelling, and punctuation on my posts. I have dyslexia and am just thankful I can read and write. So no haters please.

Question 1:

Why would you put your life on display for everyone to see?

Answer:

I have nothing to hide. I have family and friend around the country and it is easer to have all my information in one place.

A lot of women that have either had this surgery or are getting ready to have the surgery read this blog. Just as I read blogs when I was getting ready to have surgery and before when I was just researching the possibility. I did not even know you could have this type of reconstruction and If I did not know being a nurse and all I knew other women did not know either. Since I read so many blogs that helped me I want to pay it forward.

I write for my girls to have a journal of sort of my experience, thoughts, and feelings.. So one day they will know everything was for them so I would hopefully live a long life and not get Breast Cancer. I would have loved to have my mothers thoughts, feelings, during the difficult times in her life written down.

Question 2:

Who do you blame for your infection?

Answer:

No one!!!!! I do not know if this is only a  Texas saying or not, but ” Shit Happens.” My doctor has been nothing but great, He went above and beyond helping me heal and I am eternally grateful. I believe God has a reason for all thing in our life. Lessons to learn, teaching patience to the inpatient, telling me to slow down and I do not have to do everything all myself, but mostly give up control put your faith in him and in the doctor’s hand. He knows I struggle with both patience and control and I am pretty bullheaded at times and need to be reminded I am not always in control of everything. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Question 3:

Why would you show your scars to the world?

Answer:

Other women do not need to see the perfect surgery or outcome. They need to see what is real. Hopefully they get the perfect experience, but if they don’t then they will know they are not alone. When we were adopting the girls we went to classes and they told us worse case scenarios about a child you might get from Foster Care. I now believe they did this so anything better than the worst case your could handle and think this is nothing. It could be this bad instead. I approached my Mastectomy and reconstruction the same way I wanted worst case scenarios so if anything did happen ( like an infection ) it was not a big deal and could be worse.

I believe scars are the roadmap of my life. Each scar on my body tells a different story . The story of my life, and it has been a great ride so far.

If someone does not want to read this blog do not click on the link. It was probably not written for you anyway. But for anyone else come on in ask all the question you want, My life is an open book.

hate

Are You Dense? Why Yes,Yes I Am: The Most Important Blog Post I Will Ever Write

18 Apr

dunce

I confess, I am dense. I just found out that I am dense last year. My density came to me in a letter no less. I am not talking about my smarts, but rather I am talking about my breast density. My last mammogram report stated I have dense breast tissue. Below is a picture of the USA, if you live in the pink states, a law is in effect to tell you your breast density when you have a mammogram.

states

The law in Texas is called Henda’s Law. Henda’s Law – named for Henda Salmeron, a Dallas Realtor and breast cancer survivor who led efforts to pass the legislation – requires mammography providers to notify patients with dense breast tissue that their mammogram may be less accurate than that of women with lower breast density. The law states: “If your mammogram demonstrates that you have dense breast tissue, which could hide abnormalities, and you have other risk factors for breast cancer that have been identified, you might benefit from supplemental screening tests that may be suggested by your ordering physician.”

Breast Density is a measure of the amount of breast tissue a woman has. The more tissue, the greater the density and the higher the risk of breast cancer. However, in women with dense breast tissue, mammograms are not as effective in detecting the cancer. This is because both breast tissue and breast cancer will appear white on a mammogram and the lack of contrast makes identification of the cancer more difficult.

The mammogram picture below shows someone with dense breast that has a tumor. It has been circled in pink. See how difficult it is to see.

dense breast

Here is a mammogram of a tumor in a regular breast and a dense breast.

dense breast 2

What to do if you have dense breasts?

Ask your doctor about having additional screening studies such as an ultrasound or breast MRI. For more information visit http://areyoudense.org.

%d bloggers like this: